Free Parenting Plan Template (UK)

1. What this parenting plan is (and isn't)

A parenting plan is a written agreement between two separated parents about how you will raise your children. It is not a court order and it is not legally binding. But that does not make it less useful. In fact, many family mediators, Cafcass officers, and family solicitors encourage parents to create one, whether or not there are court proceedings.

This template is based on the frameworks used by Cafcass (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) and the National Family Mediation (NFM) service. It is designed to be:

• Child-focused — every section starts from what your child needs, not what feels fair to you or the other parent.
• Flexible — you can update it as your child grows, as circumstances change, or as you learn what works.
• Practical — this is not a legal document full of formalities. It is a working agreement that lives in a drawer (or a shared app) and actually gets used.

If you already have a court order (such as a Child Arrangements Order), this plan can sit alongside it. Use it to fill in the day-to-day details that court orders rarely cover, like who buys school shoes, what time video calls happen, and how to handle a sick day.

2. Child and parent details

Start by writing down the basics. This section is simple but important. It means anyone reading the plan (a grandparent, a school, a mediator) can immediately see who it involves.

3. Living arrangements and schedule

This is usually the section parents spend the most time on. The goal is to create a predictable, stable routine that your child can count on. Children manage transitions much better when they know what is coming next.

Regular weekly pattern (term time)

Write out a typical week. Be specific. Instead of "shared", say "Monday after school to Wednesday morning drop-off with Parent 1; Wednesday after school to Friday morning drop-off with Parent 2; alternating weekends."

Weekends

If you alternate weekends, note the pattern. For example: "Parent 1 has odd-numbered weekends (using week numbers), Parent 2 has even-numbered weekends. Weekend starts Friday after school and ends Monday morning drop-off." If every weekend is the same, just note that.

School holidays

Holiday time is often split differently from term time. Common approaches include splitting each holiday in half, alternating whole holidays year by year, or giving each parent specific weeks. Write down what works for your family.

Special days

Think about the days that matter most to your child and to each of you. It helps to agree these in advance so there is no last-minute confusion.

Travel and handovers

Handovers are one of the most common flashpoints. Agreeing the details in advance takes the tension out of it. Think about where the handover happens, who does the driving, and what happens if someone is running late.

4. Decision-making

Parenting involves hundreds of small decisions and a few big ones. For the small stuff (what they eat for dinner, whether they wear a coat), whoever the child is with decides. For the bigger stuff, you need a system.

Big decisions

These are the areas where both parents usually need to be involved:

• Education — which school, private vs state, SEN support, tutoring
• Medical — vaccinations, operations, dental treatment, therapy/counselling
• Religion — baptism, faith school, religious observance
• Passports and travel abroad — applying for or renewing a passport, taking the child out of the country
• Change of name — both parents with parental responsibility must consent
• Moving house — especially if it would affect the child's school or the schedule

How to decide

Pick one approach for each category, or use a general rule for all of them:

• Joint decision — both parents must agree before any action is taken.
• One parent leads, the other is consulted — one parent researches and recommends, the other has a right to object within an agreed timeframe (e.g. 7 days).
• Mediation if stuck — if you cannot agree after two attempts at discussion, you will attend a mediation session before taking any unilateral action.

5. Communication between parents

How you communicate with each other will shape your child's experience of your separation more than almost anything else. You do not need to be friends, but you do need a system that works.

Preferred channels

Choose one primary channel for day-to-day communication and stick to it. A co-parenting app (like Pick Up) or email works well because it creates a written record and removes the intensity of phone calls or face-to-face conversations. Reserve phone calls for genuine emergencies only.

Communication rules

These are not about controlling each other. They are about protecting your child from adult conflict and keeping conversations productive.

• Business-like tone. Write messages as if a mediator will read them. Stick to facts, logistics, and what your child needs.
• Child-focused language. Replace "I want" with "I think [child's name] would benefit from..." or "Could we try..."
• No insults, sarcasm, or blame. If a message makes you angry, wait before replying. You can always respond tomorrow.
• No rehashing the past. The parenting plan is about moving forward, not about who did what during the relationship.
• One topic per message. This makes it easier to respond and avoids conversations spiralling.

6. Communication with your child

Children benefit from being able to contact both parents freely, without feeling like they are being disloyal. Agreeing the basics in advance stops it from becoming a source of tension.

Phone and video calls

Some practical points to agree on:

• The child should be able to call or message the other parent without needing to ask permission.
• Keep video calls to a reasonable length (15–20 minutes is fine for younger children, longer for teens).
• The parent with the child should make sure the call happens, even if the child does not ask. Young children often will not initiate but still want to talk.
• Avoid scheduling calls during meals, bedtime, or activities. A quick "goodnight" call is lovely. A 40-minute video call at 8pm when a 5-year-old is tired is not.
• Neither parent should listen in on calls, prompt the child on what to say, or ask the child to report back on the other parent's household.

7. Routines and rules

Children do best when the basics are roughly consistent between homes. You do not need identical rules, but it helps if the big things are in the same ballpark.

Daily routines

Discipline approach

You do not need to agree on every parenting style, but it is worth discussing your general approach so your child does not get completely different messages in each home. Common ground might include: no smacking, consistent consequences, and not undermining the other parent's rules in front of the child.

Health and medical

8. Money and expenses

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict between separated parents. A clear, written agreement helps. This section is not a replacement for a proper child maintenance arrangement, but it covers the practical gaps that maintenance often does not.

Child maintenance

In the UK, child maintenance can be arranged in three ways:

• Family-based arrangement — you agree an amount between yourselves. Free, flexible, but relies on trust.
• Child Maintenance Service (CMS) — the government calculates a figure based on income. There is a £20 application fee. You can use CMS Collect (they handle payments, 20% surcharge for the paying parent, 4% deducted from the receiving parent) or Direct Pay (CMS calculates, you pay each other directly, no ongoing fee).
• Consent order — a family-based arrangement made legally binding through the court.

Extras and shared costs

Maintenance covers day-to-day living costs, but there are always extras. Agree in advance how you will handle these to avoid arguments when the bill arrives.

9. New partners and wider family

At some point, one or both of you will start a new relationship. This can be difficult for everyone, especially the children. It helps to agree some ground rules in advance, while you are both thinking clearly.

Introducing new partners

There is no perfect timeline, but most child psychologists suggest waiting until a relationship is stable and serious (typically 6–12 months) before introducing a new partner to your children. Discuss and agree:

• Will you give the other parent a heads-up before introducing a new partner to the children? (Most plans say yes, as a courtesy, not as permission.)
• New partners should not be involved in handovers in the early stages.
• New partners do not replace a parent. They should not discipline the children or make parenting decisions without agreement.

Wider family and other adults

• Grandparents and extended family are important to children. Both parents should support the child's relationship with family on both sides.
• Do not use children as messengers between households. If you need to tell the other parent something, tell them directly.
• Do not bad-mouth the other parent in front of the children, and do not allow others (grandparents, friends, new partners) to do so either. Children internalise this. They are half of each of you.

10. Reviews, changes, and disagreements

A parenting plan is a living document. What works when your child is three will not work when they are nine or fifteen. Build in a review process so the plan evolves with your family.

Regular reviews

• Review the plan every 6–12 months, or when there is a significant change (starting school, moving house, a new sibling, a child's expressed wishes changing).
• Set a specific date for the review. Treat it like a meeting: have an agenda, stick to facts, and focus on what is and is not working.
• Either parent can request an earlier review if circumstances change significantly.

When you disagree

You will disagree. That is normal. What matters is how you handle it. Agree on an escalation process:

1. Direct discussion. Try to resolve it between yourselves first, in writing, sticking to the communication rules above.
2. Mediation. If you cannot agree after two attempts, either parent can request a mediation session. You can find an accredited mediator through the Family Mediation Council or National Family Mediation. Many offer a free initial meeting (MIAM).
3. Legal advice. If mediation does not resolve it, either parent may seek independent legal advice or apply to the court. This should be a last resort.

11. Safety and safeguarding

This section is important. A voluntary parenting plan is only appropriate when both parents are able to cooperate safely. If there are concerns about domestic abuse, child abuse, substance misuse, or any other safeguarding issue, an informal plan may not be enough.

• If you have a court order (including a non-molestation order, occupation order, or prohibited steps order), that order takes priority over anything in this plan.
• If you have concerns about your child's safety with the other parent, contact Cafcass, your local authority children's services, or speak to a family solicitor.
• If you or your child are at immediate risk, call 999.
• The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available 24/7 on 0808 2000 247.

Where safeguarding concerns exist, professional advice should always override any informal arrangement. This template is not designed for situations involving abuse or coercive control.